After several years working across the health and wellness spectrum meditation studios, yoga groups, coaching collectives, and more there’s one question I keep asking myself: Did that really happen? From life-changing retreats and trauma-informed practice to team meetings that felt more like psychological warfare, my time in “wellness” has left me with stories most people wouldn’t believe. Where you’d expect compassion and collaboration, I found the opposite. Too often, leadership is built around personal ego, control, and at its worst narcissism. The irony of this isn’t lost on me: a field dedicated to healing too often ends up breaking the spirit of those working behind the scenes. ### The Reality Behind Closed Doors One of the clearest examples: I was once ordered to stop payment on two staff members’ paychecks simply because the principal “didn’t like” their work. When I refused, I was subject to open criticism and professional isolation. It was a moment that made me realize this didn’t align with my ethics, and I had to leave. Team meetings followed a dreaded pattern: the principal would pick a person to publicly tear down and humiliate. Employees and contractors lived in fear, second-guessing every move, every suggestion. Marketing was stuck in the past, fiercely guarded by a leader unwilling to adapt, even when modern approaches could have brought in millions. Attempts to shift the culture were met not with interest but with resistance. Innovators were shut down. Creative people stopped sharing ideas. In my case, moments of genuine teamwork and possibility were repeatedly drowned out by micromanagement and insecurity. ### Why It Matters Working in wellness should make employees healthier emotionally and physically. Research shows that toxic leadership causes lasting damage: higher burnout, reduced engagement, chronic stress, and, ultimately, much higher turnover than any salary cut ever would. The damage is not just to morale, but to the ability of any organization to retain talent, grow, and actually make a difference. ### Lessons Learned and Shared There’s no “fixing” a narcissistic leader. It’s not anyone’s role to rescue a person intent on controlling others or making themselves the center of their own universe. What’s needed is a willingness to walk away when values are compromised, to protect one’s own well-being over a paycheck, and to demand that leaders reflect the values written in their mission statements. The practices themselves meditation, yoga, coaching are beautiful, transformative, and real. But they deserve better leadership. After everything, I remain hopeful that wellness can be reclaimed by those who lead with humility and real vision, not ego and fear. I leave you with two questions: Would you trust a wellness brand managed by someone who drives their team to burnout? If so much suffering happens behind closed doors, what does “wellness” even mean? In an industry built on healing, why is the greatest wound often inflicted by the person in charge?